Too often, we live our lives on autopilot, moving from one thing to another without making active decisions, showing up in the way we want to, or even knowing what we want for ourselves. We may be too overwhelmed, burnt out, or exhausted to consider an intentional approach to our life. With so much information, stimulation, and advice thrown our way, it can also be tempting to look to others to point us in a particular direction.
Ultimately, we end up relying on the path of least resistance, or what we’re used to doing. Note: This is not the same as the most desirable, successful, or pain-free path. It’s just the one that has become the most familiar. It’s why our fingers automatically navigate to the Instagram app when we know mindlessly scrolling the perfectly curated aspects of other people’s lives only makes us feel worse. It’s why we keep plugging away at the same job in the same way despite it making us miserable.
What gets lost in this process of familiarity is what really matters most to us, who we are at our core, and what we want for our life.
Values-Based Living
Enter values-based living. Living based on your values involves getting back in the driver’s seat of your own life – or possibly taking the wheel for the first time. It involves connecting deeply and personally with what you want your life to be about, and acting in accordance with those core components or values. In taking a more intentional approach, you can become a more active participant in your life and become more alive to all of life’s experiences. Over time, you can start to more naturally replace your autopilot habits with meaningful ones.
There is a lot of power in making conscious decisions for ourselves and being intentional in our actions. Ultimately, it feels great to connect with what matters most to us as humans. In fact, living in accordance with your values is associated with increased well-being and fulfillment.
Keys to Living a Values-Based Life
So what does it take to live a values-based life?
Getting clarity on what you value most in life: You can think of values as a compass or North Star, meant to guide you rather than be an item to check off a list. Ask yourself: What gives my life meaning? What kind of person do I want to be? What direction do I want my life to go in? These are the things that make up who you are at your best.
Figuring out what it means to you to live in accordance with your values: Whereas values are a compass pointing North, values-based living consists of the goalposts along the way. To-do list people of the world, rejoice. This is where you can identify goals and take action that moves you in the direction of the life you want to live. What would it look like for you to live [x] value?
Committing to values-based living even when - and especially when - things get hard: A critical and unavoidable part of living a values-based life is willingness to accept life’s challenges – which carries with it your fears, anxieties, and other painful emotions – in service of the things that matter most to you. In fact, pain is often a signal of what matters most to you, showing you that you’re on the right path.
This last one throws many people for a loop. This is completely normal. Humans are conditioned to avoid pain from a young age or to try to make things “feel better.” Take, for example, the things you often say or hear when comforting others going through a hard time: “It will get better.” “Time heals all wounds.” etc…
This is where the help of a seasoned psychologist can be of use. In Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), therapists work with clients to not only clarify their values and identify consistent goals but also teach skills and strategies that help navigate the painful parts in service of a values-based life.
Interested in learning more? Contact CVB Living today.
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